ADHD Adolescents: Natural Born Leaders

As parents of ADHD children we know our kids have the potential to become the future leaders of the 21st Century. But that birthright has been diminished by the dominant culture, which only sees their “disorder”. These "natural born leaders" deserve to have their potential recognized and honed. So what have we done as parents to facilitate that prospect?

As a generation, we boomer parents have made parenting both an art form and a competitive sport. We have done more than take care of our kids; we have provided classes, tutors, camps and coaches to give them the edge in school, sports and life; we have monitored their progress, their whereabouts, their schedules; we have in fact spent our lives walking in front of our kids and falling down for them. Nowhere is this truer than with parents of ADHD children.

Parents of ADHD kids want to protect their children from the slings and arrows of daily life by managing and organizing their every moment. As a mother of 25 year old ADHD twins, with Masters Degrees in Education and Psychology, I know all too well the struggle between micro-managing my children’s lives and getting out of the way so they will come up with their own solutions.

For years I provided all that was necessary and more. But ultimately it occurred to me that if I wanted to prepare my adolescents properly to lead their own lives, I needed to stop looking at their disabilities and see their potential. I needed to transition them into the realization that they had to take ownership of their ADHD, and their lives. If I wanted to protect them successfully, I needed to hand down the mantel and imbue them with the confidence to leave home knowing they could thrive on their own.

The urgency to accomplish this was triggered by my being informed about the laws preventing colleges and universities from providing me any information about my children once they turned 18 without their express permission. I would be unable to find out how they were doing academically, psychologically, or financially. And if they were injured, got overwhelmed or crashed and burned I would not be there to notice, or, to fix it.

It was then that I realized that in my eagerness to love, protect and provide for my ADHD children, I may have set them up for failure. If parents want to insure their ADHD children’s success and foster their leadership potential once they become independent, they need to equip their children with the skills and tools to manage their own lives well before they leave home.

ADHD teens need to know what their ADHD looks and feels like. They deserve to understand how they are wired and how they impact others and others impact them, so that when, not if, challenges arise, they have the tools to be solution rather than problem-focused around those challenges. They need the disorder normalized and de-mystified in order to become their own advocates and to internalize the resources and tools that will help them realize their greatest potential.

Hundreds of leadership camps and programs exist for teenagers, many focused on specific skills or disabilities. But no leadership program exists for ADHD teenagers. Once I realized how underserved this population is, I brought together some of the best talent in ADHD coaching, student leadership and survival programs in the country to design an innovative program customized for the ADHD teenager.

Founded in 2005, ADD Student Leadership Retreat, is a not for profit program that integrates survival training and leadership development with education specific for ADHD teenagers 15-18 years old. Why wilderness training? Wilderness survival skills translate into everyday life as organizational and leadership skills. After having had a successful, safe experience in the woods, teens learn that they can take care of themselves anywhere.

By addressing the social, emotional and self-esteem aspects of ADHD in a peer based, adult facilitated program, ADD Student Leadership will prepare ADHD teens for the period of young adulthood when they will no longer be living under the protective shelter of home, so that when they are away at school these kids will have the skills and self knowledge to manage, on their own, without parents there to manage for them.

These are the skills that will equip our “natural born leaders” to manage themselves with their peers, in schools, and in society so that they have the competence to lead us successfully through the 21st century.

The ADD Student Leadership Retreat will be held from October 8-11, 2010 at Camp Vacamas in West Milford, New Jersey. Space is limited. This is not a therapeutic program. This is a leadership training retreat. For more information, go to addstudentleadership.org or call 888-376-8231.